When You Can’t Be Everything, Be Present

Over the last 27 years of life, I’ve tried to be everything. The strong one (but I should work out more). The calm one (but I have high blood pressure). The wise one (but I act foolishly too often). The one with the answers (as long the questions are about Disney).

I’ve tried to be the dependable husband, the intentional dad, the faithful follower of Jesus, the guy who never quite runs out of energy, patience, or time. But, in all honesty, that version of me simply doesn’t exist.

Because real life has this way of pushing past our ideal versions of ourselves and calling us into something far more honest: Presence.

Not perfection.
Not performance.
Not carrying it all.

Just showing up. Heart open. Willing to listen. Willing to be shaped.
Willing to trust God in the middle of life’s mess.

If you’re a dad (or a mom), there’s a quiet kind of pressure that builds when we care deeply about the people we love. We want to provide, lead, protect, guide. And we should, because those are good, noble, beautiful things.

But they were never meant to rest entirely on our shoulders.

Most of my life, I’ve felt the subtle weight of trying to do too much. Not necessarily in my schedule (I may have a bit too much free time), but in my spirit. You know what I mean. It’ that mental pressure that says, “You can’t mess up. You can’t miss a step. You have to hold it all together for everyone.”

And maybe that resonates with you too.

The truth is: we weren’t designed to be everything. That job’s already taken.

Jesus said it this way: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” — Matthew 11:28-29 (NLT)

We’re not called to carry it all. We’re called to walk closely with the One who already promised that He would. So here’s the shift I’m working on: Not being everything. Just being present.

Present to my family, even when I don’t have the perfect words.
Present to God, even when I don’t feel especially strong or spiritual.
Present in the moment, even when it doesn’t feel remarkable.

Because presence is where my favorite thing—grace—shows up.

And when my kids look back on these years, I don’t think they’ll remember whether I had everything figured out. I think they’ll remember that I kept showing up. That I was there. That I listened. That even if they didn’t need me at the moment, they knew I would always be there.

And honestly, that’s the kind of person I want to be.

Maybe today you feel stretched thin.
Maybe you’re holding more than you can carry.
Let me just remind you: You don’t have to be everything.

You just have to be present. Let grace do the rest.